The Life of Holy Mother
Teresa of Jesus
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus,
of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel.
CHAPTER 27
- Of another way
in which God teaches a soul,
- and, without speaking,
makes His Will known
in an admirable manner.
- She goes on to explain a vision,
though not an imaginary one,
and a great grace
with which God favoured her.
This chapter is noteworthy.
- The Saint Prays to Be Directed
by a Different Way.
- Intellectual Visions.
____________________
Topics/ Questions
to keep in mind
as we read along:
1). St. Teresa states that others were
concerned regarding her prayer
experiences.
"and many prayers...
were made on my behalf,
that our Lord would lead me
by another and
a safer way;
for this, they told me,
was so suspicious"
How did St. Teresa describe her response
to their concerns, as well as,
her own concerns?
[ Life: Ch 27: #1,2,3 ]
2). On "the feast of the glorious St. Peter...
I saw Christ close by me".
2a). How did St. Teresa describe
this experience?
[ Life: Ch 27: #3,4,5,7,8,12 ]
2b). What was the reaction of St. Teresa
to this experience?
[ Life: Ch 27: #3,4 ]
3). How did this feeling
of the presence of God
differ from that consciousness
of the presence of God
which is frequently felt by those
who have attained to the Prayer
of Union and Quiet?
[ Life: Ch 27: #6 ]
4). How does St. Teresa describe the
state of the faculties and senses
during this "vision"?
[ Life: Ch 27: # 8,9 ]
5). What did St. Teresa mean
when she said,
"God is not an accepter of persons..."
[ Life: Ch 27: # 13 ]
6). St. Teresa talks about detachment.
6a). What does St. Teresa say in regard to:
one who has received special graces
from God?
[ Life: Ch 27: # 13, 14, 16, 23 ]
6b). What does St. Teresa say in regard to:
One who has persevered in their
effort to be detached from
possessions, honors, and comforts?
[ Life: Ch 27: #15]
6c). St Teresa said, "what an excellent
likeness (of Christ and the Apostles)
in the person of that blessed friar,
Peter of Alcantara..."
What did she say about
St Peter of Alcantra ?
[ Life: Ch 27: # 16,17,18,19,20,21,22]
________________________
CHAPTER 27
1. I now resume the story of my life.
I was in great pain and distress;
and many prayers, as I said, [385]
were made on my behalf,
that our Lord would lead me
by another and
a safer way;
for this, they told me,
was so suspicious.
The truth is, that
though I was
praying to God for this, and
wished I had a desire for another way,
yet, when I saw the progress
I was making,
I was unable really to desire a change,
though I always prayed for it,
excepting on those occasions
when I was extremely cast down
by what people said to me, and
by the fears with which they filled me.
2. I felt that I was wholly changed;
I could do nothing
but put myself in the hands of God:
He knew what was expedient for me;
let Him do with me
according to His will
in all things.
I saw
that by this way
I was directed heavenwards, and
that formerly I was going down to hell.
I could not force myself
to desire a change,
nor believe that I was under
the influence of Satan.
Though I was doing all I could
to believe the one and
to desire the other,
it was not in my power to do so.
I offered up all my actions,
if there should be any good in them,
for this end;
I had recourse to the Saints
for whom I had a devotion,
that they might deliver me
from the evil one;
I made novenas;
I commended myself
to St. Hilarion,
to the Angel St. Michael,
to whom I had recently
become devout, for this purpose;
and many other Saints I importuned,
that our Lord might show me the way,
I mean,
that they might obtain this for me
from His Majesty.
3. At the end of two years
spent in prayer
by myself and others
for this end,
namely, that our Lord would
either lead me by another way,
or show the truth of this,
for now the locutions of our Lord
were extremely frequent,
this happened to me.
I was in prayer one day,
it was the feast
of the glorious St. Peter, [386]
when I saw Christ close by me,
or, to speak more correctly,
felt Him;
felt Him;
for I saw
nothing with the eyes of the body,
nothing with the eyes of the soul.
He seemed to me
to be close beside me;
and I saw, too, as I believe,
that it was He
who was speaking to me.
As I was utterly ignorant
that such a vision was possible, [387]
I was extremely afraid at first,
and did nothing but weep;
however, when He spoke to me
but one word
to reassure me,
I recovered myself, and was,
as usual, calm and comforted,
without any fear whatever.
Jesus Christ seemed to be
by my side continually, and,
as the vision was not imaginary,
I saw no form;
but I had a most distinct feeling
that He was always
on my right hand,
a witness of all I did;
and never at any time,
if I was but slightly recollected,
or not too much distracted,
could I be ignorant
of His near presence. [388]
4. I went at once to my confessor, [389]
in great distress,
to tell him of it.
He asked in what form
I saw our Lord.
I told him I saw no form.
He then said:
"How did you know that it was Christ?"
I replied,
- that I did not know how I knew it;
but I could not help knowing
- that He was close beside me,
- that I saw Him distinctly,
and felt His presence,
- that the recollectedness of my soul
was deeper in the prayer of quiet,
and more continuous,
"that when in the Prayer of Quiet my soul was now much more deeply and continuously recollected" - Peers |
"y que el recogimiento del alma era muy mayor, en oración de quietud y muy continua…" - La Vida de la Madre Teresa de Jesús Ch27: #3 And that the concentration /recollection of the soul was much greater in the prayer of quietude and very constant /continous…" |
- that the effects thereof
were very different from
what I had hitherto experienced, and
- that it was most certain.
I could only make comparisons
in order to explain myself;
and certainly there are no comparisons,
in my opinion,
by which visions of this kind
can be described.
Afterwards I learnt
from Friar Peter of Alcantara,
a holy man of great spirituality,
of whom I shall speak by and by, [390]
and from others of great learning,
that this vision
was of the highest order, and
one with which Satan
can least interfere;
and therefore there are no words
whereby to explain,
at least, none for us women,
who know so little:
learned men can explain it better.
5. For if I say
that I see Him
neither with the eyes of the body,
nor with those of the soul,
because it was not an imaginary vision,
how is it that I can
understand and maintain
that He stands beside me, and
be more certain of it
than if I saw Him?
If it be supposed
that it is
as if a person were
- blind, or in the dark, and therefore
- unable to see another
who is close to him,
the comparison is not exact.
There is a certain likelihood about it,
however, but not much,
because the other senses
tell him who is blind
of that presence:
he hears the other speak or move,
or he touches him;
but in these visions
there is nothing like this.
The darkness is not felt;
only He renders Himself present
to the soul
by a certain knowledge of Himself
which is more clear than the sun. [391]
I do not mean that we now see
either a sun
or any brightness,
only that there is a light not seen,
which illumines the understanding
so that the soul may have the fruition
of so great a good.
This vision brings with it great blessings.
6. It is not like
that presence of God
which is frequently felt,
particularly by those
who have attained
to the prayer of union and of quiet,
when we seem,
at the very commencement
of our prayer,
to find Him
with whom we would converse, and
when we seem to feel
that He hears us
by the effects and
the spiritual impressions
of great love and faith
of which we are then conscious,
as well as
by the good resolutions,
accompanied by sweetness,
which we then make.
This is a great grace from God;
and let him to whom He has given it
esteem it much,
because it is a very high degree
of prayer;
but it is not vision.
God is understood to be present there
by the effects He works in the soul
that is the way His Majesty
makes His presence felt;
but here, in this vision,
it is seen clearly
that Jesus Christ is present,
the Son of the Virgin.
In the prayer of union and of quiet,
certain inflowings of the Godhead
are present;
but in the vision,
the Sacred Humanity also,
together with them,
is pleased to be our visible companion,
and to do us good.
7. My confessor next asked me,
who told me
it was Jesus Christ. [392]
I replied that
He often told me so Himself;
but, even before He told me so,
there was an impression
on my understanding that it was He;
and before this
He used to tell me so,
and I saw Him not.
If a person
whom I had never seen,
but of whom I had heard,
came to speak to me,
and I were blind or in the dark, and
told me who he was,
I should believe him;
but I could not so confidently affirm
that he was that person,
as I might do if I had seen him.
But in this vision I could do so,
because so clear a knowledge
is impressed on the soul
that all doubt seems impossible,
though He is not seen.
Our Lord wills
that this knowledge be so graven
on the understanding,
that we can
no more question
His presence
than we can question
that which we see with our eyes:
not so much even;
for very often there arises a suspicion
that we have imagined things
we think we see;
but here,
though there may be a suspicion
in the first instant,
there remains a certainty so great,
that the doubt has no force whatever.
So also is it
when God
teaches the soul
in another way, and
speaks to it without speaking,
in the way I have described.
8. There is so much of heaven
in this language,
that it cannot well be understood
on earth,
though we may desire ever so much
to explain it,
if our Lord will not teach it
experimentally.
Our Lord impresses
in the innermost soul
that which He wills that soul
to understand;
and He manifests it there
without images or formal words,
after the manner of the vision
I am speaking of.
Consider well
this way in which God works,
in order that the soul may understand
what He means
His great truths and mysteries;
for very often what I understand,
when our Lord explains to me
the vision,
which it is His Majesty's pleasure
to set before me,
is after this manner;
and it seems to me
that this is a state
with which the devil can least interfere,
for these reasons;
but if these reasons are not good,
I must be under a delusion.
The vision and the language are matters
of such pure spirituality,
that there is no toil
of the faculties, or
of the senses,
out of which, so seems to me,
the devil can derive any advantage.
9. It is only
at intervals,
and for an instant,
that this occurs;
for generally, so I think,
the senses are not taken away, and
the faculties are not suspended:
they preserve their ordinary state.
It is not always so in contemplation;
on the contrary, it is very rarely so;
but when it is so, I say
that we do nothing whatever ourselves:
no work of ours is then possible;
all that is done is apparently
the work of our Lord.
It is as if food had been received
into the stomach
which had not first been eaten, and
without our knowing how it entered;
but we do know well that it is there,
though we know
not its nature,
nor who it was that placed it there.
In this vision,
I know who placed it;
but I do not know how He did it.
I neither saw it,
nor felt it;
I never had any inclination
to desire it, and
I never knew before
that such a thing was possible.
10. In the locutions
of which I spoke before, [393]
God makes the understanding
attentive,
though it may be painful to understand
what is said;
then the soul seems to have other ears
wherewith it hears;
and He forces it to listen,
and will not let it be distracted.
The soul is like a person
whose hearing was good, and
who is not suffered to stop his ears,
while people standing close beside him
speak to him with a loud voice.
He may be unwilling to hear,
yet hear he must.
Such a person contributes something
of his own;
for he attends to what is said to him;
but here there is nothing of the kind:
even that little,
which is nothing more than
the bare act of listening,
which is granted to it
in the other case,
is now out of its power.
It finds its food prepared and eaten;
it has nothing more to do
but to enjoy it.
It is as if one
without ever learning,
without taking the pains
even to learn to read, and
without studying
any subject whatever,
should find himself in possession
of all knowledge,
not knowing how or whence
it came to him,
seeing that he had never taken
the trouble
even to learn the alphabet.
This last comparison seems to me
to throw some light
on this heavenly gift;
for the soul finds
- itself learned in a moment, and
- the mystery of the most Holy Trinity
so clearly revealed to it, together
with other most deep doctrines,
that there is no theologian in the world
with whom it would hesitate
to dispute for the truth of these matters.
11. It is impossible to describe
the surprise of the soul
when it finds that
one of these graces is enough to
- change it utterly, and
- make it love nothing but Him
Who, without waiting for anything
itself (the soul) might do,
- renders it fit for blessings so high,
- communicates to it His secrets, and
- treats it
with so much affection and love.
Some of the graces He bestows
are liable to suspicion
because they are
- so marvellous, and
- given to one
who has deserved them so little
- incredible, too,
without a most lively faith.
I intend, therefore, to mention
very few of those graces
which our Lord has wrought in me,
if I should not be ordered otherwise;
but there are certain visions
of which I shall speak,
an account of which
may be of some service.
In doing so,
I shall either dispel his fears
to whom our Lord sends them, and
who, as I used to do,
thinks them impossible,
or I shall explain the way or the road
by which our Lord has led me;
and that is what
I have been commanded to describe
12. Now, going back to speak
of this way of understanding,
what it is seems to me
to be this:
it is our Lord's will in every way
that the soul should have
some knowledge
of what passes in heaven;
and I think that,
as the blessed there
understand one another,
without speech
I never knew this for certain
till our Lord of His goodness
made me see it;
He showed it to me in a trance,
so is it here:
God and the soul understand
one another,
merely because His Majesty so wills it,
without the help of other means,
to express the love
there is between them both.
In the same way on earth,
two persons of sound sense,
if they love each other much,
can even,
without any signs,
understand one another
only by their looks.
It must be so here,
though we do not see how,
as these two lovers earnestly
regard each the other:
the bridegroom says so
to the bride in the Canticle,
so I believe, and I have heard
that it is spoken of there. [394]
13. Oh, marvellous goodness of God,
in that Thou permittest eyes
which have looked upon so much evil
as those of my soul
to look upon Thee!
May they never accustom themselves,
after looking on Thee,
to look upon vile things again!
and may they have pleasure in nothing
but in Thee, O Lord!
Oh, ingratitude of men,
how far will it go!
I know by experience
that what I am saying is true, and
that all we can say is exceedingly little,
when we consider
what Thou doest to the soul
which Thou hast led
to such a state as this.
O souls,
you who have begun to pray, and
you who possess the true faith,
what can you be in search of
even in this life,
let alone that which is for ever,
that is comparable to the least
of these graces?
Consider, and it is true,
that God gives Himself to those
who give up everything for Him.
God is not an accepter of persons. [395]
He loves all;
there is no excuse for any one,
however wicked he may be,
seeing that He hath thus dealt with me,
raising me to the state I am in.
Consider, that what I am saying
is not even an iota
of what may be said;
I say only
that which is necessary to show
the kind
of the vision and
of the grace
which God bestows on the soul;
for that cannot be told
which it feels
when our Lord admits it
to the understanding
of His secrets and
of His mighty works.
The joy of this is
so far above all conceivable joys,
that it may well make us loathe
all the joys of earth;
for they are all but dross;
and it is an odious thing
to make them enter
into the comparison,
even if we might have them for ever.
Those which our Lord gives,
what are they?
One drop only of the waters
of the overflowing river
which He is reserving for us.
14. It is a shame!
And, in truth, I am ashamed of myself;
if shame could have a place in heaven,
I should certainly be
the most ashamed there.
Why do we seek
blessings and joys so great,
bliss without end,
and all at the cost of our good Jesus?
Shall we not at least weep
with the daughters of Jerusalem, [396]
if we do not help to carry his cross
with the Cyrenean? [397]
Is it by pleasure and idle amusements
that we can attain to the fruition
of what He purchased
with so much blood?
It is impossible.
Can we think that we can,
by preserving our honour,
which is vanity,
recompense Him
for the sufferings He endured,
that we might reign with Him for ever?
This is not the way;
we are going by the wrong road utterly,
and we shall never arrive there.
You, my father,
must lift up your voice, and
utter these truths aloud,
seeing that God has taken from me
the power of doing it.
I should like to utter them
to myself for ever.
I listened to them myself,
and came to the knowledge of God
so late,
as will appear by what I have written,
that I am ashamed of myself
when I speak of this;
and so I should like to be silent.
15. Of one thing, however, I will speak,
and I think of it now and then,
may it be
the good pleasure of our Lord
to bring me on,
so that I may have the fruition of it! --
what will be
the accidental glory and
the joy of the blessed
who have entered on it,
when they see that,
though they were late,
yet they left nothing
which it was possible for them
to do for God,
who kept nothing back
they could give Him, and
who gave what they gave
in every way they could,
according to
their strength and
their measure,
they who had more
gave more.
How rich will he be
who gave up all his riches for Christ!
How honourable will he be
who, for His sake,
sought no honours whatever,
but rather took pleasure
in seeing himself abased!
How wise he will be
who rejoiced when men
accounted him as mad!--
they did so of Wisdom Itself! [398]
How few there are of this kind now,
because of our sins!
Now, indeed, they are all gone
whom people regarded as mad, [399]
because they saw them
perform heroic acts,
as true lovers of Christ.
16. O world, world!
how thou art gaining credit
because they are few
who know thee!
But do we suppose
that God is better pleased
when men account us
wise and discreet persons?
We think forthwith
that there is but little edification given
when people do not go about,
every one in his degree,
with great gravity,
in a dignified way.
Even in the friar, the ecclesiastic,
and the nun,
if they wear old and patched garments,
we think it a novelty,
and a scandal to the weak;
and even if they are very recollected
and given to prayer.
Such is the state of the world, and
so forgotten are
matters of perfection, and
those grand impetuosities
of the Saints.
More mischief, I think,
is done in this way,
than by any scandal
that might arise
if the religious showed in their actions,
as they proclaim it in words,
that the world is
to be held in contempt.
Out of scandals such as this,
our Lord obtains great fruit.
If some people took scandal,
others are filled with remorse:
anyhow, we should have before us
some likeness of that
which our Lord
and His Apostles endured;
for we have need of it now
more than ever.
17. And what an excellent likeness
in the person of that blessed friar,
Peter of Alcantara,
God has just taken from us! [400]
The world cannot bear
such perfection now;
it is said
that men's health is grown feebler, and
that we are not now
in those former times.
But this holy man lived in our day;
he had a spirit strong
as those of another age,
and so he trampled on the world.
If men do not go about barefooted,
nor undergo sharp penances,
as he did,
there are many ways,
as I have said before, [401]
of trampling on the world;
and our Lord teaches them
when He finds the necessary courage.
How great was the courage
with which His Majesty
filled the Saint I am speaking of!
He did penance
oh, how sharp it was!
for seven-and-forty years,
as all men know.
I should like to speak of it,
for I know it to be all true.
18. He spoke of it
to me and
to another person,
from whom he kept few or no secrets.
As for me,
it was the affection he bore me
that led him to speak;
for it was our Lord's will
that he should
undertake my defence, and
encourage me, at a time
when I was in great straits,
as I said before,
and shall speak of again. [402]
He told me, I think,
that for forty years
he slept but an hour and a half
out of the twenty-four, and
that the most laborious penance
he underwent, when he began,
was this of overcoming sleep.
For that purpose, he was always
either kneeling or standing.
When he slept,
he sat down,
his head resting against a piece
of wood driven into the wall.
Lie down he could not,
if he wished it;
for his cell,
as every one knows,
was only four feet and a half
in length.
In all these years,
he never covered his head
with his hood,
even when the sun was hottest,
or the rain heaviest.
He never covered his feet:
the only garment he wore
was made of sackcloth, and
that was as tight as it could be,
with nothing between it and his flesh;
over this, he wore a cloak
of the same stuff.
He told me
that, in the severe cold,
he used to
take off his cloak, and
open the door and the window
of his cell,
in order that when he put
his cloak on again,
after shutting
the door and the window,
he might give some satisfaction
to his body
in the pleasure it might have
in the increased warmth.
His ordinary practice was to eat
but once in three days.
He said to me,
"Why are you astonished at it?
it is very possible for any one
who is used to it."
One of his companions told me
that he would be occasionally
eight days without eating:
that must have been
when he was in prayer;
for he was subject
to trances, and
to the impetuosities
of the love of God,
of which I was once
a witness myself.
19. His poverty was extreme;
and his mortification,
from his youth, was such,
so he told me,
that he was three years in one
of the houses of his Order
without knowing how to distinguish
one friar from another,
otherwise than by the voice;
for he never raised his eyes:
and so, when he was obliged
to go from one part of the house
to the other,
he never knew the way,
unless he followed the friars.
His journeys, also, were made
in the same way.
For many years, he never saw
a woman's face.
He told me
that it was nothing to him then
whether he saw it or not:
but he was an aged man
when I made his acquaintance;
and his weakness was so great,
that he seemed like nothing else
but the roots of trees.
With all his sanctity,
he was very agreeable;
though his words were few,
unless when he was asked questions;
he was very pleasant to speak to,
for he had a most clear understanding.
20. Many other things I should like
to say of him,
if I were not afraid, my father,
that you will say,
Why does she meddle here?
and it is in that fear
I have written this.
So I leave the subject, only saying
that his last end was like his life
preaching to, and
exhorting,
his brethren.
When he saw that the end was comes
he repeated the Psalm, [403]
"Laetatus sum in his quae
dicta sunt mihi;"
and then, kneeling down,
he died.
21. Since then, it has pleased our Lord
that I should find more help
from him than during his life.
He advises me in many matters.
I have often seen him in great glory.
The first time he appeared to me,
he said:
"O blessed penance,
which has merited so great a reward!"
with other things.
A year before his death,
he appeared to me being then far away.
I knew he was about to die,
and so I sent him word to that effect,
when he was some leagues from here.
When he died,
he appeared to me,
and said that he was going to his rest.
I did not believe it.
I spoke of it to some persons,
and within eight days
came the news that he was dead
or, to speak more correctly,
he had begun to live
for evermore. [404]
22. Behold here, then,
how that life of sharp penance
is perfected in such great glory:
and now he is a greater comfort to me,
I do believe,
than he was on earth.
Our Lord said to me on one occasion,
that persons could not ask Him
anything in his name,
and He not hear them.
I have recommended many things
to him
that he was to ask of our Lord,
and I have seen my petitions granted.
God be blessed for ever! Amen.
23. But how I have been talking
in order to stir you up
never to esteem anything
in this life!
as if you did not know this, or
as if you were not resolved
to leave everything,
and had already done it!
I see so much going wrong
in the world,
that though my speaking of it
is of no other use
than to weary me by writing of it,
it is some relief to me
that all I am saying
makes against myself.
Our Lord forgive me
all that I do amiss herein;
and you too, my father,
for wearying you to no purpose.
It seems as if
I would make you do penance
for my sins herein.
___________________
[385] [316]Ch. xxv. § 20.
[386] See [317]ch. xxviii. § 5,
and [318]ch. xxix. § 1.
The vision took place,
it seems, on the 29th June.
See [319]ch. xxix. § 6.
[387] See [320]ch. vii. § 12.
[388] See Anton. a Spiritu Sancto, Direct.
Mystic. tr. iii. disp. v. § 3.
[389] See Inner Fortress, vi. 8, § 3.
[390] [321] § 17, infra.
[391] See [322]Relation, vii. § 26.
[392] Inner Fortress, vi. 8, § 3.
[393] [323]Ch. xxv. § 1.
[394] Cant. vi. 4: "Averte oculos tuos a me,
quia ipsi me avolare fecerunt."
St. John of the Cross, Mount Carmel,
bk. ii. ch. xxix. n. 6, Engl. trans.
[395] Acts x. 34:
"Non est personarum acceptor Deus."
[396] St. Luke xxiii. 28:
"Fili Jerusalem, nolite flere super Me,
sed super vos ipsas flete."
[397] St. Matt. xxvii. 32:
"Hunc angariaverunt ut tolleret crucem Ejus."
[398] St. John x. 20: "Daemonium habet et insanit:
quid Eum auditis?"
[399] Sap. v. 4: "Nos insensati vitam illorum
aestimabamus insaniam."
[400] 18th Oct. 1562.
As the Saint finished the first relation of her life
in June, 1562,
this is one of the additions subsequently made.
[401] [324]Ch. xiv. § 7.
[402] [325]Ch. xxvi. § 3,
[326]ch. xxxii. § 16.
[403] Psalm cxxi. The words in the MS. are:
"Letatun sun yn is que dita sun
miqui" (De la Fuente).
[404] See [327]ch. xxx. § 2.
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