The Life of Holy Mother
Teresa of Jesus
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus,
of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel
CHAPTER 34
She shows
- how at that time it happened
that she absented herself from this place and
- how her Superior commanded her to go away
at the request of a very noble lady
who was in great affliction.
She begins to tell
- what happened to her there, and
- the great grace God bestowed upon her
in determining through her instrumentality
a person of distinction to serve Him truly; and
- how that person found favour and help
in her (Teresa).
This is noteworthy.
- The Saint Leaves Her Monastery of the Incarnation
for a Time, at the Command of Her Superior.
- Consoles an Afflicted Widow.
______________________
Topics/ Questions
to keep in mind
as we read along:
1). What did St. Teresa's say regarding
being summoned to visit
(Dona Luisa de la Cerda)
a recent widow
who was in distress?
[ Life: Ch34: #1, 2,3]
2). What were the benefits
of this visit?
[Life: Ch34:
#3,4,5,7,13,16,17,18,19]
3). How did St. Teresa describe the
"love that speaks" in prayer?
[ Life: Ch34: # 9 ]
4). What thought caused St. Teresa
to be "extremely distressed" ?
[ Life: Ch34: # 12 ]
5). What did St. Teresa say regarding
"the grace of contemplation" ?
[ Life: Ch34: # 14 ]
6). What advice does St. Teresa give
regarding supernatural knowledge
and those who would advise others ??
[ Life: Ch34: # 14,15, 16 ]
7). What did St. Teresa say
regarding Spiritual friendships ?
[ Life: Ch34: # 19, 20,21 ]
8). What did St. Teresa say
regarding love of God
and the value of
suffering and detachment?
[ Life: Ch34: # 19, 20 ]
_________________________
Chapter 34
1. Now, though I was very careful
that no one should know
what we were doing,
all this work could not be carried on
so secretly as not to come
to the knowledge of divers persons;
some believed, in it,
others did not,
I was in great fear lest the Provincial
should be spoken to about it
when he came,
and find himself compelled
to order me to give it up;
and if he did so,
it would have been abandoned at once.
Our Lord provided against it
in this way.
In a large city,
more than twenty leagues distant,
was a lady in great distress
on account of her husband's death
[497] (Dona Luisa de la Cerda)
She was in such extreme affliction,
that fears were entertained
about her life.
She had heard of me,
a poor sinner,
-- for our Lord had provided that,-- ”
and men spoke well to her of me,
for the sake of other good works
which resulted from it.
This lady knew the Provincial well;
and as she was a person
of some consideration,
and knew that I lived in a monastery,
the nuns of which
were permitted to go out,
our Lord made her desire much
to see me.
She thought that my presence
would be a consolation to her,
and that she could not be comforted
otherwise.
She therefore strove
by all the means in her power
to get me into her house,
sending messages to the Provincial,
who was at a distance far away.
2. The Provincial sent me an order,
charging me in virtue of my obedience
to go immediately,
with one companion.
I knew of it on Christmas night.
It caused me some trouble
and much suffering
to see that they sent for me
because they thought
there was some good in me;
I, knowing myself to be so wicked,
could not bear it.
I commended myself earnestly to God,
and during Matins,
or the greater part of them,
was lost in a profound trance.
Our Lord told me
- I must
go without fail, and
give no heed
to the opinions of people,
for they were few
who would not be rash
in their counsel; and
- though I should have troubles,
yet God would be served greatly:
- as to the monastery,
it was expedient I should be absent
till the Brief came,
because Satan had contrived
a great plot
against the coming of the Provincial;
- that I was to have no fear,
-- He would help me.
I repeated this to the rector, and
he told me
that I must go by all means,
though others were saying
I ought not to go,
that it was a trick of Satan
to bring some evil
upon me there, and
that I ought to send word
to the Provincial.
3. I obeyed the rector,
and went without fear,
because of what I had understood
in prayer,
though in the greatest confusion
when I thought of the reasons
why they sent for me, and
how very much they were deceived.
It made me more and more importunate
with our Lord
that He would not abandon me.
It was a great comfort that there was
a house of the Society of Jesus there
whither I was going,
and so I thought I should be
in some degree safe
under the direction of those fathers,
as I had been here.
4. It was the good pleasure of our Lord
that the lady who sent for me
should be so much consoled
that a visible improvement
was the immediate result
she was comforted every day
more and more.
This was very remarkable,
because, as I said before,
her suffering had reduced her
to great straits.
Our Lord must have done this
in answer to the many prayers
which the good people
of my acquaintance made for me,
that I might prosper in my work.
She had a profound fear of God,
and was so good,
that her great devotion
supplied my deficiencies.
She conceived a great affection for me
-- I, too, for her,
because of her goodness;
but all was as it were a cross for me;
for the comforts of her house
were a great torment,
and her making so much of me
made me afraid.
I kept my soul continually recollected
-- I did not dare to be careless:
nor was our Lord careless of me;
for while I was there,
He bestowed the greatest graces
upon me, and
those graces
made me so free, and
filled me with such contempt
for all I saw,
--and the more I saw,
the greater my contempt,--
that I never failed
to treat those ladies,
whom to serve would have been
a great honour for me,
with as much freedom
as if I had been their equal.
5. I derived very great advantages
from this,
and I said so.
I saw
- that she was a woman,
and as much liable
to passion and weakness
as I was;
- that rank is of little worth, and
the higher it is,
the greater the anxiety and trouble
it brings.
People must be careful
of the dignity of their state,
which will not suffer them
to live at ease;
they must eat
at fixed hours and
by rule,
for everything must be
according to their state, and
not according to their constitutions;
and they have frequently
to take food fitted
more for their state
than for their liking.
6. So it was that I came to hate
the very wish to be a great lady.
God deliver me
from this wicked, artificial life!
--though I believe
that this lady
notwithstanding that she was
one of the chief personages
of the realm,
was a woman of great simplicity, and
that few were more humble
than she was.
I was very sorry for her,
for I saw how often she had to submit
to much that was disagreeable to her,
because of the requirements of her rank.
Then, as to servants,
though this lady had
very good servants,
how slight is that little trust
that may be put in them!
One must not be conversed
with more than another;
otherwise, he who is so favoured
is envied by the rest.
This of itself is a slavery, and
one of the lies of the world
is that it calls such persons masters,
who, in my eyes, are nothing else
but slaves in a thousand ways.
7. It was our Lord's pleasure
that the household of that lady
improved in the service
of His Majesty during my stay there,
though I was not exempted from
some trials and
some jealousies
on the part of some of its members,
because of the great affection
their mistress had for me.
They perhaps must have thought
I had some personal interest to serve.
Our Lord must have permitted
such matters,
and others of the same kind,
to give me trouble,
in order that I might not be
absorbed in the comforts
which otherwise I had there;
and He was pleased
to deliver me out of it all
with great profit to my soul.
8. When I was there,
a religious person
of great consideration, and
with whom I had conversed
occasionally some years ago,
[498] happened to arrive.
( F. Vicente Barron or
Fr. Garcia of Toledo
See Footnote)
When I was at Mass,
in a monastery of his Order,
near the house in which I was staying,
I felt a longing to know
the state of his soul,
--for I wished him to be
a great servant of God, --
and I rose up
in order to go and speak to him.
But as I was then recollected in prayer,
it seemed to me a waste of time
-- for what had I to do
in that matter? --
and so I returned to my place.
Three times, I think I did this, and
at last my good angel prevailed
over the evil one,
and I went and asked for him; and
he came to speak to me
in one of the confessionals.
We began by asking one another
of our past lives,
for we had not seen one another
for many years.
I told him that my life had been one
in which my soul had had many trials.
He insisted much on my telling him
what those trials were.
I said
that they were not to be told, and
that I was not to tell them.
He replied
that the Dominican father, [499]
(Fr. Pedro Ibanez)
of whom I have spoken,
knew them, and
that, as they were great friends,
he could learn them from him, and
so I had better tell them
without hesitation.
9. The fact is,
that it was
not in his power
not to insist,
nor in mine, I believe,
to refuse to speak;
for notwithstanding
all the trouble and shame
I used to feel formerly,
I spoke of my state,
to him, and
to the rector
whom I have referred to before,
[500]
without any difficulty whatever;
on the contrary,
it was a great consolation to me;
and so I told him all in confession.
He seemed to me then
more prudent than ever;
though I had always looked upon him
as a man of great understanding.
I considered
what high gifts and endowments
for great services he had,
if he gave himself wholly unto God.
I had this feeling now for many years,
so that I never saw any one
who pleased me much
without wishing at once
he were given wholly unto God;
and sometimes I feel this so keenly,
that I can hardly contain myself.
Though I long to see
everybody serve God,
yet my desire about those
who please me
is very vehement, and
so I importune our Lord
on their behalf.
10. So it happened
with respect to this religious.
He asked me to pray much
for him to God.
There was no necessity
for his doing so,
because I could not do anything else,
and so I
went back to my place
where I was in the habit
of praying alone, and
began to pray to our Lord,
being extremely recollected,
in that my simple, silly way,
when I speak without knowing
very often what I am saying.
It is love that speaks,
and my soul is so beside itself,
that I do not regard
the distance between it and God.
That love which I know
His Majesty has for it
makes it forget itself, and
think itself to be one with Him;
and so, as being one with Him,
and not divided from Him,
the soul speaks foolishly.
When I had prayed with many tears
that the soul of this religious
might serve Him truly,
-- for, though I considered it good,
it was not enough for me;
I would have it much better, --
I remember I said,
"O Lord,
Thou must not refuse me this grace;
behold him,
-- he is a fit person
to be our friend."
11. Oh, the great goodness
and compassion of God!
How He regards
not the words,
but the desire and
the will
with which they are spoken!
How He suffered such a one as I am
to speak so boldly before His Majesty!
May He be blessed for evermore!
12. I remember that
during those hours of prayer
on that very night
I was extremely distressed
by the thought
- whether I was in the grace of God,
and
- that I could never know
whether I was so or not,
-- not that I wished to know it;
I wished, however,
to die,
in order that I might not live a life
in which I was not sure
that I was not dead in sin,
for there could be no death
more dreadful for me
than to think
that I had sinned against God.
I was in great straits at this thought.
I implored Him not to suffer me
to fall into sin,
with great sweetness,
dissolved in tears.
Then I heard
that I might
console myself, and
trust [501]
that I was in a state of grace,
because a love of God like mine,
together with the graces and feelings
with which His Majesty filled my soul,
was of such a nature
as to be inconsistent with
a state of mortal sin.
13. I was now confident
that our Lord would grant my prayer
as to that religious.
He bade me repeat certain words to him
This I felt much,
because I knew not
how to speak to him;
for this carrying messages
to a third person,
as I have said, [502]
is what I have always felt the most,
especially when I did not know
how that person would take them,
nor whether he would not laugh at me.
This placed me in great difficulties,
but at last I was so convinced
I ought to do it,
that I believe I made a promise to God
I would not neglect that message; and
because of the great shame I felt,
I wrote it out, and gave it in that way.
The result showed clearly enough
that it was a message from God,
for that religious resolved
with great earnestness
to give himself to prayer,
though he did not do so at once.
Our Lord would have him for Himself,
so He sent me to tell him certain truths
which, without my understanding them,
were so much to the purpose
that he was astonished.
Our Lord must have prepared him
to receive them
as from His Majesty;
and though I am
but a miserable sinner myself,
yet I made many supplications
to our Lord
to convert him thoroughly, and
to make him hate
the pleasures and
the things of this life.
And so he did
-- Blessed be God!--
for every time that he spoke to me
I was in a manner beside myself;
and if I had not seen it,
I should never have believed
that our Lord would have
given him in so short a time
graces so matured, and
filled him so full of God,
that he seemed to be alive
to nothing on earth.
14. May His Majesty hold him
in His hand!
If he will go on
-- and I trust in our Lord he will do so,
now that he is so well grounded
in the knowledge of himself --
he will be one of the most
distinguished servants of God,
to the great profit of many souls,
because he has in a short time
had great experience
in spiritual things:
that is a gift of God,
which He gives
when He will and as He will,
and it depends
not on length of time
nor extent of service.
I do not mean
that time and service,
are not great helps,
but very often our Lord
will not give to some
in twenty years
the grace of contemplation,
while He gives it to others
in one (year),
--His Majesty knoweth why.
We are under a delusion
when we think
that in the course of years
we shall come to the knowledge
of that which we can in no way attain to
but by experience;
and thus many are in error,
as I have said [503]
when they would
understand spirituality
without being spiritual themselves.
I do not mean
that a man
who is not spiritual,
if he is learned,
may not direct one
that is spiritual;
but it must be understood
that
- in outward and inward things,
in the order of nature,
the direction must be
an act of reason; and
- in supernatural things,
according to the teaching
of the sacred writings.
In other matters,
let him
not distress himself,
nor think that he can understand
that which he understandeth not;
neither let him quench the Spirit;
[504]
for now another Master,
greater than he,
is directing these souls,
so that they are not left
without authority over them.
15. He must
not be astonished at this,
nor think it impossible:
all things are possible to our Lord;
[505]
he must strive rather to
strengthen his faith, and
humble himself,
because in this matter
our Lord imparts
perhaps a deeper knowledge
to some old woman
than to him,
though he may be a very learned man.
Being thus humble,
he will profit souls and himself more
than if he affected
to be a contemplative
without being so;
for, I repeat it,
if he have no experience,
if he have not a most profound humility,
whereby he may see
that he does not understand, and
that the thing is not
for that reason impossible,
he will do
himself but little good, and
still less to his penitent.
But if he is humble,
let him have no fear
that our Lord will allow
either the one
or the other
to fall into delusion.
16. Now as to this father
I am speaking of,
as our Lord has given him light
in many things,
so has he laboured to find out by study
that which in this matter
can be by study ascertained;
for he is a very learned man,
and that
of which he has no experience himself
he seeks to find out
from those who have it,
-- and our Lord helps him
by increasing his faith, and
so he has greatly benefited
himself
and some other souls,
of whom mine is one.
As our Lord knew the trials
I had to undergo,
His Majesty seems to have provided
that, when He took away unto Himself
some of those who directed me,
others might remain,
who
helped me in my great afflictions, and
rendered me great services.
17. Our Lord wrought
a complete change
in this father,
so much so
that he scarcely knew himself,
so to speak.
He has given him bodily health,
so that he may do penance,
such as he never had before;
for he was sickly.
He has given him courage
to undertake good works,
with other gifts,
so that he seems to have received
a most special vocation
from our Lord.
May He be blessed for ever!
18. All these blessings, I believe,
came to him through the graces
our Lord bestowed upon him in prayer;
for they are real.
It has been our Lord's pleasure already
to try him in certain difficulties,
out of which he has come forth like one
who knows the true worth
of that merit
which is gained
by suffering persecutions.
I trust in the munificence of our Lord
that great good will,
by his means,
accrue to some of his Order and
to the Order itself.
This is beginning to be understood.
I have had great visions
on the subject, and
our Lord has told me wonderful things
of him and
of the Rector of the Society of Jesus,
whom I am speaking of,
[506] and also
of two other religious of the Order
of St. Dominic,
particularly of one
who, to his own profit,
has actually learned of our Lord
certain things
which I had formerly
understood of him.
But there were greater things made
known of him
to whom I am now referring:
one of them I will now relate.
19. I was with him
once in the parlour,
when in my soul and spirit I
- felt what great love burned
within him, and
- became as it were lost in ecstasy
by considering the greatness of God,
who had raised that soul
in so short a time
to a state so high.
It made me ashamed of myself
when I saw him listen
with so much humility
to what I was saying
about certain matters of prayer,
when I had so little myself
that I could speak on the subject
to one like him.
Our Lord must have borne with me
in this on account
of the great desire I had
to see that religious
making great progress.
My interview with him
did me great good,
-- it seems as if it left
a new fire in my soul,
burning with desire
to serve our Lord
as in the beginning.
O my Jesus!
what is a soul on fire with Thy love!
How we ought to
prize it, and
implore our Lord to let it
live long upon earth!
He who has this love
should follow after such souls,
if it be possible.
20. It is a great thing for a person
ill of this disease
to find another struck down by it,
-- it comforts him much to see
that he is not alone;
they help one another greatly
to suffer and
to merit.
They are strong with a double strength
who are resolved
to risk a thousand lives for God, and
who long for an opportunity
of losing them.
They are like soldiers
who, to acquire booty, and
therewith enrich themselves,
wish for war,
knowing well
that they cannot become rich without it.
This is their work -- to suffer.
Oh, what a blessing it is
when our Lord gives light to understand
how great is the gain
of suffering for Him!
This is never understood
till we have left all things;
for if anybody is attached
to any one thing,
that is a proof
that he sets some value upon it; and
if he sets any value upon it,
it is painful to be compelled
to give it up.
In that case, everything
is imperfect and lost.
The saying is to the purpose here,
-- he who follows what is lost,
is lost himself; and
what greater loss,
what greater blindness,
what greater calamity,
can there be
than making much of
that which is nothing!
21. I now return to that
which I had begun to speak of.
I was in the greatest joy,
beholding that soul.
It seemed as if
our Lord would have me see clearly
the treasures He had laid up in it;
and so,
when I considered the favour
our Lord had shown me,
in that I should be the means
of so great a good,
I recognised my own unworthiness
for such an end.
I thought much of the graces
our Lord had given him,
and held myself
as indebted for them
more than
if they had been given to myself.
So I gave thanks to our Lord,
when I saw that His Majesty
had fulfilled my desires and
heard my petition
that He would raise up persons
like him.
And now my soul,
no longer able to bear
the joy that filled it,
went forth out of itself,
losing itself
that it might gain the more.
It lost sight of the reflections
it was making;
and the hearing of that divine language
which the Holy Ghost seemed to speak
threw me into a deep trance,
which almost deprived me of all sense,
though it did not last long.
I saw Christ,
in exceeding great majesty and glory,
manifesting His joy
at what was then passing.
He told me as much, and
it was His pleasure
that I should clearly see
- that He was always present
at similar interviews, and
- how much He was pleased
when people thus found their delight
in speaking of Him.
22. On another occasion,
when far away from this place,
I saw him carried by angels
in great glory.
I understood by that vision
that his soul was making great progress:
so it was;
for an evil report was spread abroad
against him
by one to
whom he had rendered
a great service, and
whose reputation and
whose soul
he had saved.
He bore it with much joy.
He did also other things greatly
to the honour of God,
and underwent more persecutions.
I do not think it expedient now
to speak further on this point;
if, however, you, my father,
who know all,
should hereafter think otherwise,
more might be said
to the glory of our Lord.
23. All the prophecies
spoken of before, [507]
relating to this house,
as well as others,
of which I shall speak hereafter,
relating to it and to other matters,
have been accomplished.
Some of them
our Lord revealed to me
three years
before they became known,
others earlier and
others later.
But I always made them known
to my confessor, and
to the widow my friend;
for I had leave to communicate
with her, as I said before. [508]
She, I know, repeated them to others,
and these know that I lie not.
May God never permit me,
in any matter whatever,
-- much more in things
of this importance, --
to say anything but the whole truth!
24. One of my brothers-in-law [509]
died suddenly;
and as I was in great distress at this,
because he had no opportunity
of making his confession,
our Lord said to me in prayer
that my sister also
was to die in the same way;
that I must go to her,
and make her prepare herself
for such an end.
I told this to my confessor;
but as he would not let me go,
I heard the same warning again; and now,
when he saw this,
he told me I might go, and
that I should lose nothing by going.
My sister was living in the country;
and as I did not tell her why I came,
I gave her what light I could
in all things.
I made her
go frequently to confession, and
look to her soul in everything.
She was very good,
and did as I asked her.
Four or five years after she had
begun this practice, and
keeping a strict watch
over her conscience,
she died,
with nobody near her, and
without being able to go
to confession.
This was a blessing to her,
for it was little more than a week
since she had been
to her accustomed confession.
It was a great joy to me
when I heard of her death.
She was but a short time in purgatory.
25. I do not think it was quite
eight days afterwards
when, after Communion,
our Lord
appeared to me, and
was pleased that I should see Him
receive my sister into glory.
During all those years,
after our Lord had spoken to me,
until her death,
what I then learnt with respect to her
was never forgotten
either by myself
or by my friend,
who,
when my sister was thus dead,
came to me
in great amazement
at the fulfilment of the prophecy.
God be praised for ever,
who takes such care of souls
that they may not be lost!
___________________________
Foot Notes:
[497] Dona Luisa de la Cerda,
sister of the Duke of Medina-Coeli,
was now the widow of Arias Pardo,
Marshal of Castille, Lord of Malagon and
Paracuellos.
Don Arias was nephew of Cardinal Tabera,
Archbishop of Toledo
(De la Fuente).
[498] F. Vicente Barron, Dominican
(see [391]ch. v. § 8),
according to F. Bouix,
on the authority of Ribera and Yepez;
but the Carmelite Father,
Fr. Antonio of St. Joseph,
in his note on the first Fragment
(Letters, vol. iv. p. 408),
says that it was Fr. Garcia of Toledo,
brother of Don Fernando,
Duke of Alva;
and Don Vicente de la Fuente thinks
the opinion of Fr. Antonio
the more probable.
[499] Pedro Ibanez (Bouix).
[500] [392]Ch. xxxiii. § 11.
[501] Father Bouix says that here
the word "confiar," "trust," in the printed text,
has been substituted by someone
for the words "estar cierta,"
"be certain," which he found in the MS.
But Don Vicente de la Fuente retains
the old reading "confiar," and
makes no observation on the alleged discrepancy
between the MS. and the printed text.
The observation of F. Bouix, however,
is more important, and deserves credit,
-- for Don Vicente may have failed,
through mere inadvertence,
to see what F. Bouix saw;
and it is also to be remembered
that Don Vicente does not say
that the MS. on this point has been
so closely inspected as to throw any doubt
on the positive testimony of F. Bouix.
Six years after this note was written,
Don Vicente published a facsimile
by photography of the original text
in the handwriting of the Saint,
preserved in the Escurial.
The words are not "confiar,"
but "estar cierta."
[502] [393]Ch. xxxiii. § 12.
[503] [394]Ch. xiv. § 10.
[504] 1 Thess. v. 19:
"Spiritum nolite extinguere."
[505] St. Matt. xix. 26:
"Apud Deum autem omnia possibilia sunt."
[506] F. Gaspar de Salazar.
[507] [395]Ch. xxvi. § 3.
[508] [396]Ch. xxx. § 3.
Dona Guiomar de Ulloa.
[509] Don Martin de Guzman y Barrientos,
husband of Maria de Cepeda, the Saint's sister.
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