The Life of Holy Mother
Teresa of Jesus
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus,
of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel
Chapter 39
She continues
- the same subject,
- mentioning great graces granted her by God;
- how He promised to hear her requests
on behalf of persons for whom she should pray.
- Some remarkable instances
in which His Majesty thus favoured her.
- Other Graces Bestowed on the Saint.
- The Promises of Our Lord to Her.
- Divine Locutions and Visions.
______________________
Topics/ Questions
to keep in mind
as we read along:
1). St. Teresa prayed
for the physical and spiritual
welfare of others.
On one occasion, she said,
"I was...afraid our Lord
would not hear me
because of my sins."
What reassurances from God
did she receive?
[ Life: Ch. 39: # 1, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]
2). What did St. Teresa say was
"the chief reason"
"that our Lord did these things"
( bodily and spiritual healings) ?
[Life: Ch. 39: #5, 7, 11 ]
3). What did St. Teresa say about
the "two ways of praying" ?
[Life: Ch. 39: #8, 9, 10, 18 ]
4). St. Teresa extolled the
virtue of detachment.
4a). When St. Teresa recalled her stay
at the home of
Dona Luisa de la Cerda,
she emphasized the need
for detachment.
What did she say about this?
What did she say about this?
[Life: Ch. 39: #11 ]
4b). What else did she say
regarding detachment ?
[Life: Ch. 39: # 25, 26, 27, 28, 32]
5). St. Teresa counseled against
judging "spiritual things,
by our own understanding"
thereby distorting their true meaning.
She then discussed the error of
thinking "we may measure
our (spiritual) progress
by the years which we have given
to the exercise of prayer".
What did she teach regarding this?
[Life: Ch. 39:
#12,13,15,17,18,
19,21,22,23,28,33 ]
6). While examining her past good
intentions and efforts,
St. Teresa acknowledged
her "faults and imperfections".
What did she say regarding this?
[Life: Ch. 39: #20 ]
7). What did St. Teresa say
regarding her own doubts
as to the source of her visions?
[Life: Ch. 39: #34, 35 ]
8). What other benefits
(in addition to detachment,
Humility and growth in virtue)
did St. Teresa specify
that she received
from the visions ?
[Life: Ch. 39: #36, 37 ]
___________________________
Chapter 39
1. I was once importuning
our Lord exceedingly
to restore the sight of a person
who had claims upon me, and
who was almost wholly blind.
I was very sorry for him,
and afraid our Lord would not hear me
because of my sins.
He appeared to me
as at other times,
and began to show the wound
in His left hand;
with the other He drew out
the great nail that was in it, and
it seemed to me
that, in drawing the nail,
He tore the flesh.
The greatness of the pain
was manifest, and
I was very much distressed thereat.
He said to me,
that He who had borne that
for my sake
- would still more readily grant
what I asked Him, and
- that I was not to have
any doubts about it.
He promised me
- there was nothing I should ask
that He would not grant;
- that He knew I should ask nothing
that was not for His glory, and
- that He would grant me
what I was now praying for.
Even during the time
when I did not serve Him,
I should find,
if I considered it,
I had asked nothing
that He had not granted
in an ampler manner
than I had known how to ask;
how much more amply still
would He grant what I asked for,
now that He knew I loved Him!
I was not to doubt.
I do not think that eight days passed
before our Lord restored
that person to sight.
My confessor knew it forthwith.
It might be
that it was not owing to my prayer;
but, as I had had the vision,
I have a certain conviction
that it was a grace accorded to me.
I gave thanks to His Majesty.
2. Again, a person was exceedingly ill
of a most painful disease;
but, as I do not know what it was,
I do not describe it by its name here.
What he had gone through
for two months
was beyond all endurance;
and his pain was so great
that he tore his own flesh.
My confessor,
the rector of whom I have spoken,
[587] [Fr. Gaspar de Salazar]
went to see him;
he was very sorry for him,
and told me that I must anyhow
go myself and visit him;
he was one whom I might visit,
for he was my kinsman.
I went, and was moved
to such a tender compassion for him
that I began,
with the utmost importunity,
to ask our Lord to restore him to health.
Herein I saw clearly
how gracious our Lord was to me,
so far as I could judge;
for immediately, the next day,
he was completely rid of that pain.
3. I was once in the deepest distress,
because I knew that a person
to whom I was under great obligations
was about to commit an act
highly offensive to God and
dishonourable to himself.
He was determined upon it.
I was so much harassed by this
that I did not know what to do
in order to change his purpose; and
it seemed to me
as if nothing could be done.
I implored God,
from the bottom of my heart,
to find a way to hinder it;
but till I found it
I could find no relief
for the pain I felt.
In my distress,
I went to a very lonely hermitage,
-- one of those belonging
to this monastery, --
in which there is a picture
of Christ bound to the pillar;
and there, as I was imploring our Lord
to grant me this grace,
I heard a voice of exceeding gentleness,
speaking, as it were, in a whisper.[588]
My whole body trembled,
for it made me afraid.
I wished to understand
what was said,
but I could not,
for it all passed away in a moment.
4. When my fears had subsided, and
that was immediately,
I became conscious of
an inward calmness,
a joy and delight,
which made me marvel
how the mere hearing a voice,
--I heard it with my bodily ears,--
without understanding a word,
could have such an effect on the soul.
I saw by this
that my prayer was granted;
and so it was;
and I was freed from my anxieties
about a matter not yet accomplished,
as it afterwards was,
as completely as if I saw it done.
I told my confessors of it,
for I had two at this time,
both of them learned men,
and great servants of God.
5. I knew of a person
who
had resolved to serve God
in all earnestness, and
had for some days
given himself to prayer,
in which he bad received
many graces from our Lord,
but who
had abandoned his good resolutions
because of certain occasions of sin
in which he was involved, and
which he would not avoid;
they were extremely perilous.
This caused me the utmost distress,
because the person was
one for whom
I had a great affection, and
one to whom I owed much.
For more than a month I believe
I did nothing else
but pray to God for his conversion.
One day, when I was in prayer,
I saw a devil close by in a great rage,
tearing to pieces some paper
which he had in his hands.
That sight consoled me greatly,
because it seemed
that my prayer had been heard.
So it was,
as I learnt afterwards;
for that person
had made his confession
with great contrition, and
returned to God so sincerely,
that I trust in His Majesty
he will always advance
further and further.
May He be blessed for ever! Amen.
6. In answer to my prayers,
our Lord has very often
rescued souls from mortal sins and
led others on to greater perfection.
But as to the delivering of souls
out of purgatory,
and other remarkable acts,
so many are the mercies
of our Lord herein,
that were I to speak of them
I should only weary myself
and my reader.
But He has done more by me
for the salvation of souls
than for the health of the body.
This is very well known, and
there are many to bear witness to it.
7. At first it made me scrupulous,
because I could not help thinking
that our Lord did these things
in answer to my prayer;
I say nothing
of the chief reason of all
- His pure compassion.
[ apart, of course, from the chief reason,
which is His pure goodness.
- Peer's translation" ]
But now these graces are
so many, and
so well known to others,
that it gives me no pain to think so.
I bless His Majesty, and abase myself,
because I am still more deeply
in His debt; and
I believe
that He makes
my desire
to serve Him grow, and
my love revive.
8. But what amazes me most
is this:
however much I may wish
to pray for those graces
which our Lord sees
not to be expedient,
I cannot do it;
and if I try,
I do so with little earnestness,
force, and spirit:
it is impossible to do more,
even if I would.
But it is not so as to those
which His Majesty intends to grant.
These I can pray for constantly,
and with great importunity;
though I do not carry them
in my memory,
they seem to present themselves
to me at once. [589]
9. There is a great difference
between these two ways of praying,
and I know not how to explain it.
As to the first,
when I pray for those graces
which our Lord
does not mean to grant,
--even though they
concern me very nearly,--
I am like one whose tongue is tied;
who, though he would speak,
yet cannot;
or, if he speaks,
sees that people do not listen to him.
And yet I do not fail
to force myself to pray,
though not conscious of that fervour
which I have when praying
for those graces
which our Lord intends to give.
In the second case,
I am like one
who speaks clearly and intelligibly
to another,
whom he sees to be a willing listener.
10. The prayer
that is not to be heard is, so to speak,
like vocal prayer;
the other is
a prayer of contemplation
so high
that our Lord shows Himself
in such a way as to make us feel
- (that) He hears us, and
- that He delights in our prayer, and
- that He is about to grant our petition.
Blessed be He for ever
who gives me so much and to
whom I give so little!
For what is he worth, O my Lord,
who does not utterly abase himself
to nothing for Thee?
How much, how much, how much,
-- I might say so
a thousand times,--
I fall short of this!
It is on this account
that I do not wish to live,
-- though there be
other reasons also,--
because I do not live according
to the obligations
which bind me to Thee.
What imperfections I trace in myself!
What remissness in Thy service!
Certainly, I could wish occasionally
I had no sense,
that I might be unconscious
of the great evil that is in me.
May He who can do all things,
help me!
11. When I was staying
in the house of that lady
of whom I have spoken before, [590]
it was necessary for me
to be
very watchful over myself, and
keep continually in mind
the intrinsic vanity
of all the things of this life,
because
of the great esteem I was held in, and
of the praises bestowed on me.
There was much there to which
I might have become attached,
if I had looked only to myself;
but I looked to Him
who sees things as they really are,
not to let me go out of His hand.
Now that I speak of seeing things
as they really are,
I remember how great a trial
it is for those
to whom God has granted a true insight
into the things of earth
to have to discuss them with others.
They wear so many disguises,
as our Lord once told me,
[ for on earth,
as the Lord once said to me,
there is so much dissembling.
- Peer's translation ]
-- and much of what
I am saying of them
is not from myself,
but rather
what my Heavenly Master
has taught me;
and therefore, in speaking of them,
when I say distinctly
'I understood this', or
'our Lord told me this',
I am very scrupulous
neither to add
nor to take away
one single syllable;
so, when I do not clearly remember
everything exactly,
that must be taken
as coming from myself,
and some things, perhaps,
are so altogether.
[And some of the things I say
will come from me altogether.
- Peer's trasnslation ]
I do not call mine
that which is good,
for I know
there is no other good in me
but only that
which our Lord gave me
when I was so far from deserving it:
I call that mine
which I speak
without having had it
made known to me by revelation.
12. But, O my God,
how is it that we too often judge
even spiritual things,
as we do those of the world,
by our own understanding,
wresting them grievously
from their true meaning?
[ how is it
that even in spiritual matters
we often try to interpret things
in our own way,
as if they were worldly things,
and distort their true meaning?
- Peer's trasnslation ]
We think we may measure our progress
by the years which we have given
to the exercise of prayer;
we even think
we can prescribe limits to Him
who bestows His gifts [591]
not by measure when He wills,
and who in six months can give
to one
more than
to another
in many years.
This is a fact
which I have so frequently observed
in many persons,
that I am surprised
how any of us can deny it.
13. I am certainly convinced
that he will not remain
under this delusion
who possesses the gift
of discerning spirits, and
to whom our Lord
has given real humility;
for such a one will judge of them
by the fruits,
by the good resolutions and love,
-- and our Lord gives him light
to understand the matter;
and herein He regards
the progress and advancement of souls,
not the years
they may have spent in prayer;
for one person
may make greater progress
in six months
than another
in twenty years,
because, as I said before,
our Lord gives to whom He will,
particularly to him
who is best disposed.
14. I see this
in certain persons of tender years
who have come to this monastery,
-- God touches their hearts, and
gives them a little light and love.
I speak of that brief interval
in which He gives them
sweetness in prayer, and
then they
wait for nothing further, and
make light of every difficulty,
forgetting the necessity
even of food;
for they shut themselves up for ever
in a house that is unendowed,
as persons
who make no account of their life,
for His sake,
who, they know, loves them.
They give up everything,
even their own will;
and it never enters into their mind
that they might be discontented
in so small a house, and
where enclosure is so strictly observed.
They offer themselves wholly
in sacrifice to God.
15. Oh, how willingly do I admit that
- they are better than I am! and
- how I ought to be ashamed of myself
before God!
What His Majesty
has not been able to accomplish in me
in so many years,
-- it is long ago
since I began to pray,
and He to bestow His graces
upon me, --
He accomplished in them
in three months,
and in some of them
even in three days,
though he gives them
much fewer graces
than He gave to me: and
yet His Majesty rewards them well;
most assuredly
they are not sorry
for what they have done for Him.
16. I wish, therefore,
we reminded ourselves
of those long years
which have gone by
since we made
our religious profession.
I say this to those persons, also,
who have given themselves long ago
to prayer,
but not for the purpose of distressing
those who in a short time
have made greater progress
than we have made,
by making them retrace their steps,
so that they may proceed
only as we do ourselves.
We must not desire those
who, because of the graces
God has given them,
are flying like eagles,
to become like chickens
whose feet are tied.
Let us rather
look to His Majesty, and
give these souls the reins,
if we see that they are humble;
for our Lord, who has had
such compassion upon them,
will not let them fall into the abyss.
17. These souls trust themselves
in the hands of God,
for the truth,
which they learn by faith,
helps them to do it;
and shall not we also trust them to Him,
without seeking to measure them
by our measure
which is that
of our meanness of spirit?
We must not do it;
for if we cannot ascend to the heights
of their great love and courage,
-- without experience
none can comprehend them --
let us
humble ourselves, and
not condemn them;
for, by this seeming regard
to their progress,
we
hinder our own, and
miss the opportunity
our Lord gives us
to humble ourselves,
to ascertain our own shortcomings,
and
(to) learn how much
more detached and
more near to God
these souls must be
than we are,
seeing that His Majesty
draws so near to them, Himself.
18. I have no other intention here, and
I wish to have no other,
than to express my preference
for the prayer
that in a short time
results in these great effects,
which show themselves at once;
for it is impossible
they should enable us
to leave all things
only to please God,
if they were not accompanied
with a vehement love.
I would rather have
that prayer
than
that
which lasted many years, but
which at the end of the time,
as well as at the beginning,
never issued in a resolution
to do anything for God,
with the exception
of some trifling services,
like a grain of salt,
without weight or bulk, and
which a bird might carry away
in its mouth.
Is it not a serious and mortifying thought
that we are making much
of certain services
which we render our Lord, but
which are too pitiable to be considered,
even if they were many in number?
This is my case, and
I am forgetting every moment
the mercies of our Lord.
I do not mean
that His Majesty will not make much
of them Himself,
for He is good;
but I wish I made no account
of them myself,
or even perceived that I did them,
for they are nothing worth.
19. But, O my Lord,
do Thou forgive me, and blame me not,
if I try to console myself a little
with the little I do,
seeing that I do not serve Thee at all;
for if I rendered Thee any great services,
I should not think of these trifles.
Blessed are they
who serve Thee in great deeds;
if
envying these, and
desiring to do what they do,
were of any help to me,
I should not be so far behind them
as I am
in pleasing Thee;
but I am nothing worth, O my Lord;
Do Thou make me of some worth,
Thou who lovest me so much.
20. During one of those days,
when this monastery,
which seems to have cost me
some labour,
was fully founded by the arrival
of the Brief from Rome,
which empowered us to live
without an endowment; [592] and
I was comforting myself at
seeing the whole affair concluded, and
thinking of all the trouble I had had, and
giving thanks to our Lord
for having been pleased
to make some use of me, --
it happened that I began to consider all
that we had gone through.
Well, so it was;
in every one of my actions,
which I thought were of some service,
I traced so many faults and imperfections,
now and then
but little courage,
very frequently a want of faith;
for until this moment,
when I see everything accomplished,
I never absolutely believed;
neither, however, on the other hand,
could I doubt
what our Lord said to me
about the foundation of this house.
I cannot tell how it was;
very often the matter seemed to me,
on the one hand,
impossible; and,
on the other hand,
I could not be in doubt;
I mean, I could not believe
that it would not be accomplished.
In short,
I find that our Lord Himself,
on His part,
did all the good that was done,
while I did all the evil.
I therefore ceased to think of the matter,
and wished never to be reminded
of it again,
lest I should do myself some harm
by dwelling on my many faults.
Blessed be He
who, when He pleases,
draws good out of all my failings!
Amen.
21. I say, then,
there is danger in counting the years
we have given to prayer;
for, granting that
there is nothing in it against humility,
it seems to me to imply something
like an appearance of thinking
that we have merited, in some degree,
by the service rendered.
I do not mean
that there is no merit in it at all,
nor that it will not be well rewarded;
yet if any spiritual person thinks,
because he has given himself
to prayer for many years,
that he deserves any spiritual consolations,
I am sure he will never attain
to spiritual perfection.
Is it not enough
that a man has merited
the protection of God,
which keeps him from committing
those sins
into which he fell before he began to pray,
but he must also, as they say,
sue God for His own money?
22. This does not seem to me
to be deep humility,
and yet it may be that it is;
however, I look on it as great boldness,
for I, who have very little humility,
have never ventured upon it.
It may be that I never asked for it,
because I had never served Him;
perhaps, if I had served Him,
I should have been more importunate
than all others with our Lord
for my reward.
23. I do not mean
that the soul makes no progress in time, or
that God will not reward it,
if its prayer has been humble;
but I do mean
that we should forget the number of years
we have been praying,
because all that we can do
is utterly worthless
in comparison
with one drop of blood
out of those which our Lord shed for us.
And if the more we serve Him,
the more we become His debtors,
what is it, then, we are asking for?
for, if we pay one farthing of the debt,
He gives us back a thousand ducats.
For the love of God,
let us leave these questions alone,
for they belong to Him.
Comparisons are always bad,
even in earthly things;
what, then, must they be
in that, the knowledge of
which God has reserved to Himself?
His Majesty showed this clearly enough,
when those who came late and
those who came early
to His vineyard
received the same wages. [593]
24. I have sat down so often to write, and
have been so many days writing
these three leaves,
-- or, as I have said, [594]
I had, and have still,
but few opportunities,--
that I forgot what I had begun with,
namely, the following vision. [595]
25. I was in prayer,
and saw myself on a wide plain all alone.
Round about me stood a great multitude
of all kinds of people,
who hemmed me in on every side;
all of them seemed to have weapons of war
in their hands,
to hurt me;
some had spears,
others swords;
some had daggers, and
others very long rapiers.
In short, I could not move away
in any direction
without exposing myself
to the hazard of death, and
I was alone,
without any one to take my part.
In this my distress of mind,
not knowing what to do,
I lifted up my eyes to heaven,
and saw Christ,
not in heaven,
but high above me in the air,
holding out His hand to me, and
there protecting me in such a way
that I was no longer afraid
of all that multitude,
neither could they,
though they wished it,
do me any harm.
26. At first the vision seemed
to have no results;
but it has been of the greatest help to me,
since I understood what it meant.
Not long afterwards,
I saw myself, as it were,
exposed to the like assault, and
I saw that the vision represented the world,
because everything in it
takes up arms against the poor soul.
We need not speak of those
who are not great servants of our Lord,
nor of honours, possessions, and pleasures,
with other things of the same nature;
for it is clear that the soul,
if it be not watchful,
will find itself caught in a net,
-- at least, all these things labour
to ensnare it;
more than this,
so also
do friends and relatives, and
-- what frightens me most --
even good people.
I found myself afterwards
so beset on all sides,
good people thinking
they were doing good,
and I knowing
not how to defend myself,
nor what to do.
27. O my God,
if I were to say
in what way, and
in how many ways,
I was tried at that time,
even after that trial
of which I have just spoken,
what a warning I should be giving to men
to hate the whole world utterly!
It was the greatest of all the persecutions
I had to undergo.
I saw myself occasionally so hemmed in
on every side,
that I could do nothing else
but lift up my eyes to heaven,
and cry unto God. [596]
I recollected well
what I had seen in the vision,
and it helped me greatly
not to trust much in any one,
for there is no one
that can be relied on
except God.
In all my great trials, our Lord
-- He showed it to me --
sent always some one on His part
to hold out his hand to help me,
as it was shown to me in the vision,
so that I might attach myself to nothing,
but only please our Lord;
and this has been enough
to sustain the little virtue I have
in desiring to serve Thee:
be Thou blessed for evermore!
28. On one occasion
I was exceedingly disquieted and troubled,
unable to recollect myself,
fighting and
struggling with my thoughts,
running upon matters
which did not relate to perfection; and,
moreover,
I did not think I was so detached
from all things
as I used to be.
When I found myself in this wretched state,
I was afraid that the graces
I had received from our Lord
were illusions,
and the end was
that a great darkness covered my soul.
In this my distress
our Lord began to speak to me:
He bade me
not to harass myself,
but learn,
from the consideration of my misery,
- what it would be
if He withdrew Himself from me, and
- that we were never safe
while living in the flesh.
It was given me to understand
how this fighting and struggling
are profitable to us,
because of the reward,
and it seemed to me
as if our Lord were sorry for us
who live in the world.
Moreover, He bade me not to suppose
that He had forgotten me;
He would never abandon me,
but it was necessary
I should do all that I could myself.
29. Our Lord said all this
with great tenderness and sweetness;
He also spoke other most gracious words,
which I need not repeat.
His Majesty, further showing
His great love for me,
said to me very often:
"Thou art Mine, and I am thine."
I am in the habit of saying myself,
and I believe in all sincerity:
"What do I care for myself?
I care only for Thee, O my Lord."
30. These words of our Lord,
and the consolation He gives me,
fill me with the utmost shame,
when I remember what I am.
I have said it before, I think, [597]
and I still say now and then
to my confessor,
that it requires greater courage
to receive these graces
than to endure the heaviest trials.
When they come,
I forget, as it were,
all I have done,
and there is nothing before me
but a picture of my wretchedness,
and my understanding
can make no reflections;
this, also, seems to me at times
to be supernatural.
31. Sometimes I have
such a vehement longing for Communion;
I do not think it can be expressed.
One morning it happened to rain so much
as to make it seem impossible
to leave the house.
When I had gone out,
I was so beside myself
with that longing,
that if spears had been pointed at my heart,
I should have rushed upon them;
the rain was nothing.
When I entered the church
I fell into a deep trance,
and saw heaven open
-- not a door only, as I used
to see at other times.
I beheld the throne
which, as I have told you, my father,
I saw at other times,
with another throne above it,
whereon, though I saw not,
I understood
by a certain inexplicable knowledge
that the Godhead dwelt.
32. The throne seemed to me
to be supported by certain animals;
I believe I saw the form of them:
I thought they might be the Evangelists.
.But how the throne was arrayed,
and Him who sat on it I did not see,
but only an exceedingly great multitude
of angels,
who seemed to me more beautiful,
beyond all comparison,
than those I had seen in heaven.
I thought they were,
perhaps, the seraphim or cherubim,
for they were
very different in their glory, and
seemingly all on fire.
The difference is great,
as I said before; [598] and
the joy I then felt cannot be described,
either in writing or by word of mouth;
it is inconceivable to any one
what has not had experience of it.
I felt
that everything man can desire
was all there together, and
I saw nothing;
they told me,
but I know not who,
that all I could do there was to
understand
that I could understand nothing, and
see how everything was nothing
in comparison with that.
So it was;
my soul afterwards was vexed to see
that it could rest on any created thing:
how much more, then,
if it had any affection thereto;
for everything seemed to me
but an ant-hill.
I communicated,
and remained during Mass.
I know not how it was:
I thought I had been but a few minutes,
and was amazed when the clock struck;
I had been two hours in that trance and joy.
33. I was afterwards amazed at this fire,
which seems to spring forth
out of the true love of God;
for though I might
long for it,
labour for it, and
annihilate myself
in the effort to obtain it,
I can do nothing towards procuring
a single spark of it myself,
because it all comes of the good pleasure
of His Majesty,
as I said on another occasion. [599]
It seems to burn up the old man,
with his faults, his lukewarmness,
and misery;
so that it is like the phoenix,
of which I have read
that it comes forth, after being burnt,
out of its own ashes
into a new life.
Thus it is with the soul:
it is changed into another,
whose desires are different, and
whose strength is great.
It seems
to be no longer what it was before, and
begins to walk renewed in purity
in the ways of our Lord.
When I was praying to Him
that thus it might be with me, and
that I might begin His service anew,
He said to me:
"The comparison thou hast made is good;
take care never to forget it,
that thou mayest always labour
to advance."
34. Once, when I was doubting,
as I said just now, [600]
whether these visions came
from God
or not,
our Lord appeared,
and, with some severity, said to me:
"O children of men,
how long will you remain hard of heart!"
I was to examine myself carefully
on one subject, --
whether I had given myself up
wholly to Him, or not.
If I had
--and it was so,--
I was to believe
that He would not suffer me to perish.
I was very much afflicted
when He spoke thus,
but He turned to me
with great tenderness and sweetness,
and bade me not to distress myself,
for He knew already
- that, so far as it lay in my power,
I would not fail in anything
that was for His service;
- that He Himself would do what I wished,
and so He did grant
what I was then praying for;
- that I was to consider my love for Him,
which was daily growing in me,
for I should see by this
- that these visions did not come
from Satan;
- that I must not imagine
that God would ever allow the devil
to have so much power
over the souls of His servants
as to give them
such clearness of understanding and
such peace as I had.
35. He gave me also to understand
that, when such and so many persons
had told me the visions were from God,
I should do wrong
if I did not believe them. [601]
36. Once, when I was reciting
the psalm Quicumque vult, [602]
I was given to understand
the mystery
of One God and Three Persons
with so much clearness,
that I was greatly astonished and consoled
at the same time.
This was of the greatest help to me,
for it enabled me to know more
of the greatness and marvels of God;
and when I think of the most Holy Trinity,
or hear It spoken of,
I seem to understand the mystery,
and a great joy it is.
37. One day
-- it was the Feast of the Assumption
of the Queen of the Angels,
and our Lady --
our Lord was pleased
to grant me this grace.
In a trance He made me behold her
going up to heaven,
the joy and solemnity
of her reception there,
as well as the place where she now is.
To describe it is more than I can do;
the joy that filled my soul
at the sight of such great glory
was excessive.
The effects of the vision were great;
it made me long
to endure still greater trials:
and I had a vehement desire
to serve our Lady,
because of her great merits.
38. Once, in one of the colleges
of the Society of Jesus,
when the brothers of the house
were communicating,
I saw an exceedingly rich canopy
above their heads.
I saw this twice;
but I never saw it
when others were receiving Communion.
_______________________________
Foot Notes
Foot Notes
[587] [433]Ch. xxxiii. § 10.
F. Gaspar de Salazar.
[588] 3 Kings xix. 12:
"Sibilus aurae tenuis."
[589] See St. John of the Cross,
[434]Ascent of Mount Carmel,
bk. iii. ch. i, p. 210).
[590] [435]Ch. xxxiv. § 1.
[591] St. John iii. 34:
"Non enim ad mensuram dat Deus spiritum."
[592] See [436]ch. xxxiii. § 15.
[593] St. Matt. xx. 9 - 14:
"Volo autem et huic novissimo dare sicut et tibi."
[594] [437]Ch. xiv. § 12.
[595] The Saint had this vision
when she was in the house
of Dona Luisa de la Cerda in Toledo,
and it was fulfilled in the opposition
she met with in
the foundation of St. Joseph of Avila.
See [438]ch. xxxvi. § 18.
[596] 2 Paralip. xx. 12:
"Hoc solum habemus residui,
ut oculos nostros dirigamus ad Te."
[597] [439]Ch. xx. § 4.
[598] [440]Ch. xxix. § 16.
[599] [441]Ch. xxix. § 13.
[600] [442] § 28.
[601] See [443]ch. xxviii. §§ 19, 20.
[602] Commonly called
"the Creed of St. Athanasius".
"the Creed of St. Athanasius".
End of Chapter 39 |
