of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel
CHAPTER II
Although it is difficult to take seriously the idea of
St. Teresa as ever being wicked,
she took it very seriously.
She was very repentant: She had offended God
who had graced her with many blessings.
Now, in middle age, and advanced in spirituality,
she contritely considers even those faults
which caused her to lose progress, waste time,
as well as, mislead others.
She qualifies her self-reproof with her discernment of those external influences which affected and molded her frame of reference, sense of values, attitude, inclinations, and behavior.
She wants all, especially parents, to understand the
far-reaching societal repercussions
of companionship and behavior-modeling:
- how she was influenced
by a worldly cousin and servants,
- how, in turn, her own vain behavior
had the potential to stir and affect others, although
"there was nothing wrong with my intentions,
for I should never have wanted anyone
to offend God because of me".
These worldly inclinations
of her adolescent and teenage years,
led her away from God,
since both their occupation and
the need to keep them secret,
absorbed her time and effort.
____________________________________
Questions/Topics being Discussed:
1a). What does St. Teresa report is the source
of harm, "especially when we are young" ?
[ Life: Ch 2: #3, 5]
1b). What advise would St. Teresa
give to parents?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 3, 5, 7]
2). What does St. Teresa say about
good company?
[ Life: Ch 2: # 6, 10, 11, 12 ]
3). Despite her lack of bad intentions, St. Teresa
reported that her pastimes
negatively influenced her.
What were these?
Did she describe a step-wise progression?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
4). Whose behavior, according to Teresa,
influenced her own behavior,
positively or negatively?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10]
5). Teresa mentions how God delivered her
"back to Himself".
How does she describe
how God blessed her in this way?
[ Life: Ch 2: #7, 11, 12]
6). In describing her own faults,
what allowances does Teresa give herself?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12 ]
7). How does she blame herself?
[ Life: Ch 2: #2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 ]
8). In many of St. Teresa's writings,
the concern for honor is
- an attachment, involving pride and
- a desire for the esteem of others,
and so, is an obstacle in the spiritual life.
What does St. Teresa say about her concern
regarding her honor in this chapter?
[ Life: Ch 2: #4, 6, 7, 9, 10 ]
9). What does she later conclude about "honor" ?
[ Life: Ch 2: #9]
_____________________________________
Discussions:
1a). What does St. Teresa report is the source of
harm, "especially when we are young" ?
[ Life: Ch 2: #3, 5]
1a). Regarding the source of harm,
"when we are young",
St. Teresa was referring to bad companions.
"I am amazed at the evil
one bad companion can do...
especially when we are young:
then....the evil must be greatest"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #5]
"I see now the danger of conversing,
"I see now the danger of conversing,
at an age
when virtue should begin to grow,
with persons who
...provoke others to throw themselves
into the midst of ...the vanity of the world"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #3]
"...be very careful whom they allow
to mix with their children when young;
for much mischief thence ensues,
and our natural inclinations are unto evil
rather than unto good.".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #3]
"...the conversation of this person
so changed me,
that no trace was left
of my soul's natural disposition to virtue,
and I became a reflection of her."
...[ Life: Ch 2: #5]
_______________________
1b). What advise would St. Teresa give
to parents?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 3, 5, 7 ]
St. Teresa advises regarding good example:
"Parents (should) ...be very careful
that their children should always,
and in every way,
see only that which is good"
... [ Life: Ch 2: #1 ]
Her concern was regarding
those influences
to which children are exposed:
~ Their companions and also,
persons, who are invited into the home
including relatives and household staff:
- "If I were to give advice,
I would say to parents
that they ought to be very careful
whom they allow to mix
with their children when young;
for much mischief thence ensues,
and
our natural inclinations are unto evil
rather than unto good.".
...[ Life: Ch 2: # 3]
Except for "some cousins;...
no others were allowed an entrance
....into my father's house.
In this he was very cautious;
and would to God he had been cautious
about them" (her cousins, too).
...[ Life: Ch 2: # 3]
"Oh, that parents would take warning by me,
and look carefully ...
at the evil one bad companion can do,
especially when we are young:
then is it that the evil must be greatest".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #5]
"...together with the servants about me,
whom I found ready enough for all evil.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
~ Books, conversations, pastimes
St. Teresa spoke of her mother, who "was very fond of books of chivalry;
but this pastime did not hurt her so much as it hurt me
...So completely was I mastered by this passion..."
... [ Life: Ch 2: #1 ]
__________________________________
2). What does St. Teresa say
about good company?
...[ Life: Ch 2: #6, 10, 11, 12]
Good Company promotes:
- Avoidance of bad influences
- Avoidance of encouragement of faults
- Prevention of the loss of virtue
"and I am certain
that if at that tender age
I had been thrown among good people,
I should have persevered in virtue;
for if at that time
I had found any one
to teach me the fear of God,
my soul would have grown strong enough
not to fall away".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #6]
- Provides Models of wisdom and holiness
"... I was delighted at the sight of nuns so good;
for they were very good in that house,
- very prudent,
- observant of the rule, and
- recollected.
... [ Life: Ch 2: #10]
There was a nun... through her
it pleased our Lord
to give me light"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #12 ]
- Growth in "good habits"
"...my soul began to return to the good habits
of my earlier years;
I recognized the great mercy of God to those
whom He places among good people.
It seems as if His Majesty
had sought and sought again
how to convert me to Himself"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #11]
_____________________________
3). Despite her lack of bad intentions,
St. Teresa reported
that her pastimes negatively influenced her.
What were these?
Did she describe a step-wise progression?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
St. Teresa illustrates how
~ her fondness for books of chivalry became
a habit which led her to:
- a preference for and an absorption in this type of book
and unhappiness when she did not have a "new book"
of this sort to read.
- wasting time
- "the beginning of lukewarmness in my good desires"
- led to further faults
"the occasion of my falling away in other respects"
- hiding the habit of reading these books
from her father
~ Spending time with frivolous companions who
- influence others to take up worldly pastimes
- encouraged her in her faults and vanities.
~ fastidiousness about personal appearance;
"to wish to please others by my appearance"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
In her own words, St. Teresa described
how her pastimes led to further faults:
~ became fond of books of chivalry
- "the beginning of great harm to me
- I contracted a habit of reading these books
- I thought there was no harm in it
-- when I wasted many hours night and day
in so vain an occupation,
-- when I kept it a secret from my father.
It annoyed my father so much,
that we had to be careful he never saw us.
So completely was I mastered by this passion,
that I thought I could never be happy
without a new book".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #1]
~ Despite her parents and sisters efforts,
she was influenced by her cousins.
- "I was very fond of this person's company,
gossiped ...with her;
...for she helped me
in all the amusements I liked,
and...found some for me,
and communicated to me
her own conversations
and her vanities".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
..."She was so...frivolous"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
(and the result was to)
"provoke others to throw themselves
into the ...vanity of the world"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #3]
..."I had a sister much older than myself,
from whose modesty and goodness,
I learned nothing;
(but) learned every evil
from a relative who was often in the house".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
..."the conversation of this person
so changed me, that
no trace was left
of my soul's natural disposition to virtue,
and I became a reflection of her
and of another who was
given to the same kind of amusements".
... [ Life: Ch 2: #5]
~ "I began to make much of dress,
to wish to please others by my appearance.
- This fastidiousness of excessive neatness
and...other practices,
which I thought then were not at all sinful;
now, I see how wrong all this must have been.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #2]
_________________________________
4). Whose behavior, according to
Teresa, influenced her own behavior,
positively or negatively?
| Her own | fault | - for though my mother was so good ...nevertheless I... did not derive so much good from her as I ought to have done, almost none at all - The reading books of chivalry "annoyed my father so much that we had to be careful he never saw us". - I contracted a habit of reading these books; and this little fault... was the -beginning of lukewarmness in my good desires, and - occasion of my falling away in other respects. -I thought there was no harm in it when I wasted many hours, night & day in so vain an occupation when I kept it a secret from my father. So completely was I mastered by this passion, that I thought I could never be happy without a new book. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #1] - I began to make much of dress, to wish to please others by my appearance. I took pains with my hands and my hair, used perfumes, and all vanities within my reach and they were many, for I was very much given to them. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #2] - With her cousins, "I kept conversation alive, listened to stories of their affections and childish follies, (which were) good for nothing; what was still worse, my soul began to give itself up to that which was the cause of all its disorders." ...[ Life: Ch 2: #3] - I had a sister much older than myself, from whose modesty and goodness, I learned nothing; and learned every evil from a relative ...[ Life: Ch 2: #4] - I do not believe that I turned away from God in mortal sin, or lost the fear of Him, though I had a greater fear of disgrace. This fear (of disgrace) had such sway over me, that I never wholly forfeited my good name. ...I was utterly careless. I was anxious only not to be lost altogether. ...[Life: Ch 2: #4] - This friendship distressed my father and sister exceedingly ...all their efforts were in vain; for I was very adroit in doing anything that was wrong. ...[Life: Ch 2: #5] - Afterwards, when the fear of God had utterly departed from me, the fear of dishonour alone remained When I thought that nobody would ever know I ventured upon many things that were neither honourable nor pleasing unto God. ... [ Life: Ch 2: #6] - The fault was...mine; for afterwards my own wickedness was enough to lead me astray, together with the servants about me, whom I found ready enough for all evil. - (the others were) blinded by interest, as I was by passion. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #7] - As I was so much afraid about my good name, I had taken every care to be secret; and yet I never considered that I could conceal nothing from Him Who seeth all things. ...[Life: Ch 2: #9] - The occasion of sin... being present, danger was at hand, and I exposed to it my father and brothers. ... [Life: Ch 2: #7] |
Her own | intention | - I had no evil intention, because I never wished any one to offend God for me. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #2] - Were it not for my many faults, there was some excuse for me, I think, in this: -- that the conversation I shared in was with one who, I thought, would do well in the estate of matrimony [Footnote - she "had listened only to the story of her cousin's intended marriage] -- I was told by my confessors, and others also, ...that I was not offending God. ...[Life: Ch 2: #12] - Still, I was never inclined to much evil, for I hated naturally anything dishonourable, but only to the amusement of a pleasant conversation. ... [Life: Ch 2: #7] |
| Her mother | -"My mother was so good herself. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #1] - "my mother took great pains to keep (the relative) out of the house, as if she foresaw the evil I should learn from her; ...[ Life: Ch 2: #4] - ...complain of my parents, I cannot do it; for I saw nothing in them but all good and carefulness for my welfare. ...[Life: Ch 1: #8] | |
| Intention | - She permitted books of chivalry, "perhaps she did this -- to distract her thoughts from her great sufferings, and -- occupy her children, that they might not go astray in other ways ... [ Life: Ch 2: #1] | |
| -She was very fond of books of chivalry; but this pastime did not hurt her so much as it hurt me - It annoyed my father so much, that we had to be careful he never saw us. - how wrong it is of parents not to be very careful that their children should see only that which is good; ...[ Life: Ch 2: #1] |
| Her Father | - Provided good books to read - Didn't want them to read books of chivalry (worldly) ...[Life: Ch 2: #1] - "He was very cautious" about who was allowed to come into the home and who would come into the company of his children. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #3] - Her father and sister were very distressed about her friendship with the frivolous relative and often "blamed me for it" but, as they could not hinder that person from coming into the house, all their efforts were in vain ...[ Life: Ch 2: #5] - "they took me to a monastery", concealing "the true reason" ..."They waited for an opportunity which would make the change seem nothing out of the way" ...[Life: Ch 2: #8] | |
| - "for into my father's house no others were allowed an entrance. In this he was very cautious and would to God he had been cautious about them (too) ...[Life: Ch 2: #3] |
| Her Cousins | - provoke others to throw themselves into the midst ...of worldly vanities ...[ Life: Ch 2: #3] - and learned every evil from a relative who was often in the house She was so...frivolous, ...that my mother took great pains to keep her out of the house, as if she foresaw the evil I should learn from her ...in her conversation ...she helped me in all the amusements I liked, and, found some for me ...communicated to me her own conversations and her vanities ...[Life: Ch 2: #4] - the conversation of this person so changed me, that no trace was left of my soul's natural disposition to virtue, and I became a reflection of her and of another who was given to the same kind of amusements ...[Life: Ch 2: #5] - At the monastery school, "people in the world sought means to trouble my rest with messages & presents ...[Life: Ch 2: #11] - "...but they were blinded by interest, as I was by passion". ...[ Life: Ch 2: #7] | |
| Servants | - together with the servants about me, whom I found ready enough for all evil. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #7] | |
| Nuns | - for they were very good in that house, very prudent, observant of the rule, and recollected. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #10] - "One of the nuns... through her it pleased our Lord to give me light" ...[Life: Ch 2: #12] | |
| Con ventions | - "my mother took great pains to keep (the relative) out of the house, as if she foresaw the evil I should learn from her; but she could not succeed, there being so many reasons for her coming. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #4] - This friendship distressed my father and sister exceedingly. but, as they couldn't hinder that person from coming into the house, all their efforts were in vain ...[ Life: Ch 2: #5] | |
| - they took me to a monastery... in which children like myself were brought up, for, as my sister was married, it was not fitting I should remain alone, without a mother, in the house. ...[ Life: Ch 2: #8] |
_____________________________________
5). Teresa mentions how God delivered her
"back to Himself".
How does she describe
how God blessed her in this way?
[ Life: Ch 2: #7, 11, 12]
- "God delivered me out of it all,
so that I should not be lost,
in a manner visibly against my will".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
- "I recognized the great mercy of God
to those whom He places among good people".
"It seems as if His Majesty had sought and sought again
how to convert me to Himself"
"Blessed be Thou, O Lord,
for having borne with me so long!"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #11]
- "One of the nuns...(at the Monastery school).. and
through her
it pleased our Lord
to give me light"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #12 ]
_____________________________________
6). In describing her own faults,
what allowances does Teresa give herself?
[ Life: Ch 2: #1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12 ]
- Regarding her vanities, she said,
"I had no evil intention,
because I never wished any one
to offend God for me.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #2]
(this and) other practices, which I thought then
were not at all sinful;
now, I see how wrong all this must have been.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #2]
- ...I am amazed at the evil
one bad companion can do,
nor could I believe it
if I did not know it by experience
especially when we are young:
then is it that the evil must be greatest.
Oh, that parents would take warning by me...
...[ Life: Ch 2: #5]
...the conversation of this person so changed me,
that no trace was left
of my soul's natural disposition to virtue,
and I became a reflection of her
...[ Life: Ch 2: #5]
- I am certain that if at that tender age
I had been thrown among good people,
I should have persevered in virtue;
for if at that time I had found any one to teach me
the fear of God,
my soul would have grown strong enough
not to fall away.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #6]
- If any one of these had given me good advice,
I might perhaps have profited by it;
but they were blinded by interest,
as I was by passion.
Still, I was never inclined to much evil,
for I hated naturally anything dishonourable,
but only to the amusement of a pleasant conversation.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
- though I offended God,
I never ceased to have a great fear of Him,
and contrived to go to confession as quickly as I could.
...[Life: Ch 2: #10]
- (My mother) "was very fond of books of chivalry;
but this pastime
did not hurt her so much
as it hurt me,
because she never wasted her time on them;
...[Life: Ch 2: #1]
this little fault
which I observed in my mother was
-- the beginning of lukewarmness
in my good desires, and
-- the occasion of my falling away
in other respects.
I, when I came to the use of reason,
did not derive so much good from her
as I ought to have done,
almost none at all;
and the evil I learned
did me much harm.
...[Life: Ch 2: #1]
- Were it not for my many faults,
there was some excuse for me,
I think, in this:
-- that the conversation I shared in
was with one who...
would do well in the estate of matrimony;
[Footnote: "...probable that the Saint had listened
only to the story of her cousin's intended marriage]
-- and I was told by my confessors, and others also,
whom... I consulted, used to say,
that I was not offending God.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #12]
- I do not believe
that I turned away from God in mortal sin,
or lost the fear of Him,
though I had a greater fear of disgrace.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
________________________________
7). How does she blame herself?
[ Life: Ch 2: #2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9]
- I began to make much of dress
to wish to please others by my appearance.
...used...all vanities within my reach
and they were many,
for I was very much given to them.
This fastidiousness of excessive neatness
lasted some years;
and so also did other practices,
which I thought then were not at all sinful;
now, I see how wrong all this must have been.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #2]
- I had a greater fear of disgrace...
(than) the fear of (God)
This latter fear (of disgrace)
had such sway over me,
that I never wholly forfeited my good name
and...there was nothing in the world
for which I would have bartered it,
and nobody in the world I liked well enough
who could have persuaded me to do it.
Thus I might have had the strength
never to do anything against the honour of God,
as I had it by nature not to fail
in that wherein I thought
the honour of the world consisted
and I never observed that I was failing
in many other ways.
In vainly seeking after it
I was extremely careful;
but in the use of the means necessary for preserving it
was utterly careless.
I was anxious only not to be lost altogether.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
- for I was very adroit in doing anything that was wrong.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #5]
- Afterwards, when the fear of God
had...departed from me,
the fear of dishonour alone remained,
and was a torment to me in all I did.
When I thought that nobody would ever know,
I ventured upon many things that were
neither honourable
nor pleasing unto God.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #6]
- The fault was perhaps not hers, but mine;
for afterwards
my own wickedness was enough
to lead me astray...
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
...but they were blinded by interest,
as I was by passion.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
- The occasion of sin...being present,
danger was at hand,
and I exposed to it my father and brothers.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
- so deep my dissembling, that
(my father) never would believe me
to be so wicked as I was
...[ Life: Ch 2: #9]
8). In many of St. Teresa's writings,
she teaches that the concern for honor is
- an attachment, involving pride and
- a desire for the esteem of others,
and so, is an obstacle in the spiritual life.
What does St. Teresa say about
her concern regarding her honor
in this chapter?
[ Life: Ch 2: #4, 6, 7, 9, 10 ]
Here, St. Teresa seems to state that
preserving her honor was, for her,
a very strong motive
in limiting her vain behavior.
The danger of loss of reputation to herself
and therefore to her family,
especially her father and brother,
appeared so proximate to her youthful situation,
that it prevented some actions
or made her hide her actions.
She now presents this concern as a fault and
blames herself for not acting
out of love for God
and
not wanting to offend Him.
St. Teresa states that:
~ She was more concerned
regarding her honor
than love of God
- "I do not believe that
I turned away from God in mortal sin,
or lost the fear of Him,
though I had a greater fear of disgrace".
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
- "...I might have had the strength
never to do anything against the honour of God,
as I had it by nature not to fail in that wherein
I thought the honour of the world consisted"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
- "Afterwards, when the fear of God
had...departed from me,
the fear of dishonour
alone remained"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #6]
- "This latter fear had such sway over me,
that I never wholly forfeited my good name
and...there was nothing in the world
for which I would have bartered it,
and nobody in the world I liked well enough
who could have persuaded me to do it.
and I never observed
that I was failing in many other ways.
I was anxious only not to be lost altogether."
...[ Life: Ch 2: #4]
- "the fear of dishonour ...
was a torment to me in all I did.
When I thought that nobody would ever know,
I ventured upon many things that were
neither honourable nor pleasing unto God'.
...[ Life: Ch 2: #6]
- "The occasion of sin...being present,
danger was at hand, and
I exposed to it my father and brothers.
- God delivered me out of it
yet not so secretly
as to allow me to escape without
the loss of my good name and
the suspicions of my father."
...[ Life: Ch 2: #7]
- "So excessive was my father's love for me, and
so deep my dissembling,
that he never would believe me
to be so wicked as I was;
...Though some remarks were made,
yet... nothing could be positively asserted;
and, as I was so much afraid about my good name,
I had taken every care to be secret'
...[ Life: Ch 2: #9]
- "For the first eight days (in the Monastery school),
I suffered much;
but more from the suspicion
that my vanity was known,
than from being in the monastery"
...[ Life: Ch 2: #10]
______________________________
9). What does she later conclude about "honor"?
[ Life: Ch 2: #9]
St. Teresa states that:
Instead of all her concern for her own "good name",
she should have been:
~ concerned about God and
~ striving to please Him and not offend Him
by her thoughts and actions.
"...I was so much afraid about my good name...
I had taken every care to be secret;
yet I never considered that
I could conceal nothing from Him
Who seeth all things.
O my God, what evil is done in the world
by disregarding this,
and thinking that anything can be kept secret
that is done against Thee!
I am quite certain that great evils would be avoided
if we clearly understood that
what we have to do is,
-- not to be on our guard against men,
-- but on our guard against displeasing Thee."
... [ Life: Ch 2: #9]
_________________________
