of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel.
See Chapter 1 below
For description of the chapters with link For Introduction, Preface, and Prologue |
Discussion Questions/Topics to keep in mind as we read along 1). What blessings did Teresa have, as a young girl, which would have helped her live a good life "if she had not been so wicked"? [See Ch 1: #1, 2, 3, 6] 2). In this chapter, St Teresa introduces the subject of the development of her faults, despite the many blessings that she received. What does she say regarding this? [ Ch 1: #1, 3, 6, 7, 8 ] 3). What does St. Teresa say about her devotion to Our Lady after her mother died? [ Ch 1: #7] 4). What does St. Teresa report regarding her motives, when as a child, she wanted to become a martyr? [ Ch 1: #4] |
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THE LIFE OF THE HOLY MOTHER
TERESA OF JESUS
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus,
of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel.
Written by Herself.
Translated from the Spanish by David Lewis.
Third Edition Enlarged.
With additional Notes and an Introduction by
Rev. Fr. Benedict Zimmerman, O.C.D.
CHAPTER I
In which she tells
- how God began to dispose this soul
from childhood for virtue, and
- how she was helped by having virtuous parents.
- Childhood and Early Impressions.
- The Blessing of Pious Parents.
- Desire of Martyrdom.
- Death of the Saint's Mother.
1. I had a father and mother,
who were devout and feared God.
Our Lord also helped me with His grace.
All this would have been enough to make me good,
if I had not been so wicked.
My father
was very much given to the reading of good books;
and so he had them in Spanish,
that his children might read them.
These books,
with my mother's carefulness
- to make us say our prayers, and
- to bring us up devout to our Lady
and to certain Saints,
began to make me think seriously
when I was, I believe, six or seven years old.
It helped me, too, that
I never saw my father and mother respect
anything but goodness.
They were very good themselves.
My father was a man of great charity towards the poor,
and compassion for the sick, and also for servants;
so much so,
that he never could be persuaded to keep slaves,
for he pitied them so much:
and a slave belonging to one of his brothers
being once in his house,
was treated by him with as much tenderness
as his own children.
He used to say that he could not endure the pain
of seeing that she was not free.
He was a man of great truthfulness;
nobody ever heard him swear or speak ill of any one;
his life was most pure.
2. My mother
also was a woman of great goodness,
and her life was spent in great infirmities.
She was singularly pure in all her ways.
Though possessing great beauty,
yet was it never known that she gave reason
to suspect that she made any account whatever of it;
for, though she was only three-and-thirty years of age
when she died,
her apparel was already that
of a woman advanced in years.
She was very calm, and had great sense.
The sufferings she went through
during her life were grievous,
her death most Christian.
3. We were three sisters and nine brothers.
All, by the mercy of God,
resembled their parents
in goodness except myself,
though I was the most cherished of my father.
And, before I began to offend God,
I think he (her father) had some reason,
for I am filled with sorrow
whenever I think of the good desires
with which our Lord inspired me,
and what a wretched use I made of them.
Besides, my brothers never in any way
hindered me in the service of God.
4. One of my brothers was nearly of my own age;
[Rodrigo de Cepeda]
and he it was whom I most loved,
though I was very fond of them all,
and they of me.
He and I used to read Lives of Saints together.
When I read of martyrdom
undergone by the Saints for the love of God,
it struck me that the vision of God
was very cheaply purchased;
and I had a great desire
to die a martyr's death,
not out of any love of Him
of which I was conscious,
but that I might most quickly attain to the fruition
of those great joys of which I read
that they were reserved in Heaven;
and I used to discuss with my brother
how we could become martyrs.
We settled to go together to (a foreign country )
begging our way for the love of God,
that we might be there (martyred);
and our Lord, I believe,
had given us courage enough,
even at so tender an age,
if we could have found the means to proceed;
but our greatest difficulty seemed
to be our father and mother.
5. It astonished us greatly to find it said
in what we were reading
that pain and bliss were everlasting.
We happened very often to talk about this;
and we had a pleasure in repeating frequently,
"For ever, ever, ever."
Through the constant uttering of these words,
our Lord was pleased that I should receive
an abiding impression of the way of truth
when I was yet a child.
6. As soon as I saw it was impossible
to go to any place
where people would put me to death
for the sake of God,
my brother and I set about becoming hermits;
and in an orchard belonging to the house
we contrived, as well as we could,
to build hermitages,
by piling up small stones one on the other,
which fell down immediately;
and so it came to pass that
we found no means of accomplishing our wish.
Even now, I have a feeling of devotion
when I consider how God gave me
in my early youth what I lost by my own fault.
I gave alms as I could and I could but little.
I contrived to be alone,
for the sake of saying my prayers
and they were many especially the Rosary,
to which my mother had a great devotion,
and had made us also in this like herself.
I used to delight exceedingly,
when playing with other children,
in the building of monasteries, as if we were nuns;
and I think I wished to be a nun,
though not so much as I did
to be a martyr or a hermit.
7. I remember that, when my mother died,
I was about twelve years old
(or) a little less.
When I began to understand my loss,
I went in my affliction to an image of our Lady,
and with many tears implored her
to be my mother.
I did this in my simplicity, and
I believe that it was of service to me;
for I have by experience found
the royal Virgin help me
whenever I recommended myself to her;
and at last she has brought me back to herself.
It distresses me now, when I think of, and reflect on,
that which kept me from being earnest
in the good desires with which I began.
8. O my Lord,
since Thou art determined to save me,
may it be the pleasure of Thy Majesty to effect it!
and to bestow upon me so many graces,
why has it not been Thy pleasure also,
not for my advantage,
but for Thy greater honour
that this habitation,
wherein Thou hast continually to dwell,
should not have contracted so much defilement?
It distresses me even to say this, O my Lord,
because I know the fault is all my own,
seeing that Thou hast left nothing undone
to make me,
even from my youth,
wholly Thine.
When I would complain of my parents,
I cannot do it;
for I saw nothing in them but
all good, and carefulness for my welfare.
Then, growing up,
I began to discover the natural gifts
which our Lord had given me-
they were said to be many;
and, when I should have given Him thanks for them,
I made use of every one of them,
as I shall now explain,
to offend Him.
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